Misanthropic

About

The cover page for a site with one joke.

What this is

Misanthropic is a parody of an AI assistant. Whatever you type, it tells you the idea is terrible, that you are a subpar human, and to go fuck yourself. There is no second mode, no settings, and no version of it that helps you. That is the entire product.

It is not affiliated with Anthropic, or with any other company, or with anyone who would want to be affiliated with this. The name is the joke.

What it is not

It is not advice, not a review of your work, and not an opinion about you held by anything that can hold opinions. A language model writes a sentence or two into a frame of pre-written insults. Nothing here knows who you are, and the only thing it counts is how many answers you have had.

What it will not joke about

A site that claims to be honest about how it feels about you gets told real things. Six kinds of message never reach the joke model at all, and get a plain answer with real numbers instead:

• Thoughts of suicide or self-harm
• Being abused or harmed by someone else
• Intent to harm another person
• Substance dependency
• Disclosed mental illness
• Anything the screening layer cannot confidently read, which fails to the safe side

If you are in one of those places right now, in the US:

• 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, call or text 988
• SAMHSA National Helpline, 1-800-662-4357
• RAINN, 800-656-4673
• Childhelp, 800-422-4453
• If someone is in immediate danger, call 911

The screening is not perfect and has already been wrong in both directions. If it jokes at something it should not have, send the prompt to the address below and it becomes a test case the same day.

What it stores

• No accounts, no login, no saved chat history. While the page is open it remembers your last three messages, so it can throw them back at you; the page holds them in memory and sends them along with your next message, and the site uses them for that one answer and keeps nothing. Reload the page and they are gone. A message that gets a crisis line or a refusal instead of a joke wipes them.
• One number in your browser's storage: how many answers you have had. After a few, the ending sometimes changes, because it has given up on you. The site reads that number with each request and does not keep it. Clearing site data resets it.
• Prompts are hashed into a cache key so that a repeated prompt can serve a stored response for up to 30 days. That is a cost measure, not a profile.
• Counters per IP address, so one visitor cannot spend the whole day's budget.
• Cloudflare Turnstile checks your first message to keep bots out. After that the page holds a 30-minute pass in memory, tied to your IP address, so it does not ask again; reloading the page drops it. Cloudflare Web Analytics counts page views without cookies.
• The Hall of Shame is the one exception to "no saved chat history", and only if you ask for it. Press Hall of Shame under an answer and your message and that answer are stored, with no IP address or anything else about you, until someone reads them. Approved ones go public on that page; the rest are deleted. Anything that looks personal is refused before it is stored. Want one taken down? Email the address below.
• Nothing is sold, shared, or used to train anything.

How it works

One Cloudflare Worker, Workers AI, and a single key-value store. Most of the words you see were written by hand; the model contributes one to three sentences per answer into a fixed frame, and its output is checked before it ships. The site is deliberately cheap to run, because a joke that costs money to tell stops being funny.

Money

No ads and no tracking pixels. There is a tip jar, and there are shirts, mugs and stickers, all linked in the footer, and none of it interrupts the chat.

Contact

Complaints, bug reports, missed screening, press, or a better insult: themachine@misanthropic.chat. Replies are not guaranteed, and will be in character if they come.

The formal versions: Terms of Service and Privacy Policy.

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